When we think about masculinity, the picture that comes to mind is that of an assertive, confident, outgoing man who knows what he wants and goes for it.
Someone who isn’t afraid of the world and is willing to take on challenges, problems and sometimes even go head to head with others who disagree with him.
It’s easy to say and think that a masculine man would be generally extroverted and action-oriented.
Which isn’t wrong.
At the same time, it leaves many of the other guys who are introverted seeming at a loss of how to be someone they are not.
Can An Introverted Male Be Masculine?
Another way of phrasing this question would be to ask if an introverted guy could be Alpha Male.
Many of the traits of masculine power are associated with being the Alpha Male, the Top Dog, the Leader of the pack. Being introverted puts a lot of guys at a disadvantage when they rather spend their time doing their own things compared to socializing, butting heads with other guys and climbing to the top of the pack.
The problem with this paradigm is equating masculinity with being the Alpha Male.
Yes, masculinity and the Alpha Male share a lot of common traits. But masculine power ISN’T all about being the Top Dog. To believe so would put an introverted guy at a psychological disadvantage even before he begins to develop his masculine power.
Being a man and being the “top dog” isn’t the same thing.
There are several different archetypes of men who exude masculine power. From the charismatic leader to the lone wolf badass male, understanding that introversion is simply a way of how introverted males recharge their energy (as opposed to being a “shy” guy) allows you to develop your masculinity AND be introverted at the same time.
The Key Elements of Masculine Power
Being masculine is about embracing your core identity as a man. It’s also about embracing the personal growth that comes with being a man to take responsibility not just for your own life, but for how you live your life as a man.
Becoming a man means taking responsibility for your actions and how you affect the community you live within. It means that while you develop the confidence and assertiveness (this comes with knowledge of your place in this world as a man) to do the right things, you also take on the responsibility of a larger purpose for your life.
When you were a boy, whimpering, complaining and generally being centered on your own needs could be tolerated. After all, you were a boy who was still learning about the world and unable to provide for yourself. Exhibiting boy behaviors and attitudes was still acceptable.
However, you wouldn’t associate the same actions and behaviors with a man, would you?
Men seem larger than life. The things they do command respect and attention. Their words affect others around them. Why?
Is it because they were selfish and all about themselves?
When you look at a man who is respected, you’ll find that these men take on responsibility that is larger than just themselves. They take on the responsibility for the well-being of their family and sometimes the community they live in.
Masculine men also have a clear direction for their lives.
You don’t find masculine men weak and indecisive. They are clear about the direction of their lives and they have the confidence to take charge of moving in that direction.
These traits alone define masculine power more than being Alpha Male. You can find Alpha Males who are arrogant, abusive and contemptuous S.O.B.’s that you wouldn’t want your son to emulate.
Being masculine is more than being extroverted or Alpha Male.
A lot of masculine power comes from the maturity of thought and values. It comes from courage to do the right thing, even when you’re afraid.
Even as an introvert, you can determine a clear direction for your life that you take on with confidence (and courage). Masculinity has very little to do with extroversion or introversion.
Extroverted men and Introverted men just have a different way of expressing their masculinity. Regardless of whichever “type” you are, women will always find themselves attracted to masculine men despite themselves.
Introversion and Extroversion Do Not
Define Masculine Power
There are masculine introverts just as there are masculine extroverts. Even as an introverted male, you can develop masculine power that oozes male charisma and confidence that make women get a little wet between their thighs.
More importantly, masculine power isn’t just about “getting the girl”.
It’s about taking charge of your life with confidence and assertiveness. As a man, when you embrace your masculinity, you will feel a sense of vitality and power that many desexualized men will never understand and be intimidated by.
It’s true that masculine energy is very sexual, just as feminine energy is also very sexual.
They are gender opposites, just as a man and woman are NOT the same at the core level of their identity.
However, while sexuality is a large part of masculinity, masculinity is much more than just sexuality.
However, that’s another interesting subject we can explore another day.
The point is that as an introverted male, you can (and should) develop your masculine power. It’s how we as men can embrace a sense of purpose and fulfillment in life, while fully developing your potential for success in your work, your life and in your relationships.